My rookie mistake

Disney chairs.jpgI spent much of my early years primarily living to ‘pursue my mission’.  My desire was to win at anything and accumulate money. I had big goals and big vacations waiting! I knew God early in life and approached him with respect. But I set boundaries on myself and God. It seemed to keep life controlled and fitted nicely into my plans. Looking back it was no doubt about control and comfort. It was easier to live in that zone, at least I thought.


Keep in mind during this time, I fully understood eternity and knew I didn’t want to spend it hell. I trusted God for my salvation and even approached heaven was an incredible prize for simply believing. I mean who wouldn’t want heaven! Seemed like a win-win for me. But, I still spent most of my earlier years building and pursuing what I wanted. I, like many, didn’t want to die too early because I would have been sad to leave my kingdom that I had built. And believe me, what I was building was exciting (so I thought). One of my desires was a Rolex. When I got one I was let down after the excitement only lasted about 2 months. Yet, I pursued more.


My plans were working just perfectly. I mean, house in a sunshine state, hot wife, great pets, nice cars, money, investments soaring and I was on top of my career that I enjoyed. It was fun, but it seemed a bit empty. Since those days, I came across Philippians three again. Something clicked, I finally got that “to die to self is gain” statement. While I enjoyed money and winning, I began to grow weary trying to prove to myself and others that I had a great life, money, etc. Getting more was losing it’s grip.


Today I crave for heaven in a sense that I want to do things that last for eternity. It really was reinforced as I watched a friend in Florida die just after retirement. He was a great man and I enjoyed his company very much. But it got me again contemplating my life and what I was doing for eternity. Today, I’ve found that peace place. I know that it costs me something to follow him. I spend much of my day asking myself if what I am doing is making an eternal significance. That keeps me focused on what really matters.

As scripture says, I am not there yet. I am not perfect, but I press on to know God. Now I am focused on Luke 9:60-62. That passage can come across a bit harsh, but it’s a complete focus for life. I never really lived that way. Now, I pray that I hold fast to what I have learned so I don’t repeat my rookie mistake.

I am more focused now because of my future, instead of getting stuck in my past.

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