Are your best accomplishments in the past? Why? Like most people, you have a box full of memories and past accomplishments. Letting go of these can be a scary process. The memories can represent a great time in life and can even spark rivals, or force obsessively revisiting wrongs that were never made right. Many find themselves clinging tightly to what was preventing them from moving forward. I call them rear view drivers. They are always looking back talking about “the good ‘ol days”.
To move forward wisely, we are often urged to look back. But there’s a point where appreciation and analysis of the past become like stepping in gum, stuck, impeding your forward motion.
Getting unstuck involves re-configuring and being realistic. You might not have to perform an amputation from your past, but instead an alteration. To move forward, you need to be honest with yourself and stop holding so tightly with what was.
It’s natural for our minds to relive the past. The past can be comforting but so can new things that are coming for you. So start by focusing on making a new memory. Yes you’ll need to be intentional about it. It’s also hard work, but moving forward marks new and exciting chapters. There is so much ahead of you if you’ll just get out of the rut of yesterday.
Some of the best advice I heard in my twenties was “Be careful of the ruts you get in, you might be there a long time.”
A memory has no power or meaning whatsoever, unless you give it power or meaning. I get the emotional reaction to memories especially when you obsess about them. But a fixation on the past doesn’t help you, it simply delays your freedom.
If you need to, burn the box. That old box is just collecting dust anyway.